Struggling with Self-Image

I was talking with my husband the other night, trying to explain this feeling I have. He said he understood what I was trying to express but it still seems hard to put into words.

Since I've lose weight, I've inevitably lose inches. Many inches. Going from a size 14 to a size 8, currently. I also am no longer 188 lbs, but in the middle 130's. I can wear a size small in tops, I've lost almost 2 cup sizes in my bras. That being said, I don't feel very different.

When I get dressed and go shopping, of course I feel great that I can wear these smaller sizes now. But when I talk with other people who are thin or who have lost weight, I don't put myself in the same category as them. I don't think of myself as still being "fat", but I don't think of myself as "skinny" either. Then again, I never put myself in the "fat" category to begin with. I don't have poor body image, it's quite the opposite and always has been which is probably why it took so long for me to realize I needed to lose weight. But when I talk with these other people who have lost weight, I don't picture myself as thin like them or in some cases, thinner than them. I still look at them as I did when I was heavy.

I said this was hard to explain. I haven't lied.

When I look in the mirror, I see skinny. I see healthy. But when put in a group of people who have had the same journey, I think I put myself still in the beginning stages of my journey, like they are the alumni of this club. But it doesn't make me feel badly about myself by any means. Just not an equal.

Gosh. This sounds worse than when I actually verbalized it!