Wait a minute...I'm not...perfect? *GASP*

If you know me, you know that I rarely will admit my faults. Well, maybe you don't know what since I rarely admit them. I like to think I'm pretty perfect. I don't think that's uncommon, I figure, one either thinks themselves to be close to perfection or the opposite, always failing. I suppose I'd rather be on the perfecting side of things, especially when working towards my weight loss.

As of lately, I haven't been so perfect. I have been experiencing my first plateau since joining Weight Watchers in Feb. 2009. Not a bad run I'd say. However, I have been in the 130's for 15 weeks now and specifically between 133-132 for about a month. It's very frustrating. So close to seeing a 129. I haven't seen that since high school. I don't like to admit my faults. Thus, blaming everything except for what it is for my plateau. I got cocky. Plain and simple. I've regressed into old habits, slightly. The two main culprits for my regression...pizza and gyros. I weigh-in on Monday evenings, well just for one more week at least because school will be out and I can go to the Monday morning weigh-in. Anyhow, when I weigh-in on Monday evenings, I don't eat as much as I would any other day to ensure the best possible weigh-in number. So come 7:30pm when it's dinner time it's typically a larger meal. Two weeks in a row, it's been a gyro and fries from Doggie Diner. Last Saturday night, too lazy too cook, we ordered a large Aurelio's pizza. Leftovers, there were none.

It's disgusting. I felt so sick after eating all that nasty food. It shows me that old habits definitely die hard. I didn't even think I could consume that much food anymore. Although the past two weeks I still lost weight (.4 lb each week) I still went two weeks without even losing one whole pound and that is just unacceptable when I'm so close to goal.

How do I fix this problem? Back to basics.

This week, I tracked like I've never tracked before. I, once again, was a perfect Weight Watcher. And it showed on the scale. Although my weigh-in isn't until tomorrow, the scale is reading around the 128 lbs mark which is about a 4 lbs loss this week. Although unofficial, I'm very excited for tomorrows weigh-in.

So, perhaps it was cockiness. Maybe it was the stress of the last few weeks of school, or some of my students who I swear are giving me grey hairs at the ripe age of 25. Maybe I just missed my comfort food. Regardless of what it was, I have not failed by any means. And I believe it's okay to given in once in a while to your weaknesses. I can't say I'd enjoy life if I never ate a piece of Aurelio's pizza again. And that's not fair to deny yourself anything.

I still have a lot of learning to do. I need to learn to control myself. Kristian always tells me that he'll make sure I don't eat that "next" piece of pizza after I've already had 5 pieces. I tell him that is kind of him but honestly it won't do me any good. I have to learn to tell myself not to eat it. If he tells me, I'll just be upset that he is telling me what to do, right ladies? How dare you tell me not to eat that next piece...watch me eat two more! ;-) Truth is, I need to work with myself to stop. I'm only going to listen to myself. Especially when I'm alone. I can't count on someone else being there to stop me, because if I'm alone it will be a disaster.

I've realized I'm not perfect. That doesn't mean I can't inspire people or lead people in their weight loss. It just means I relate to everyone else on their journey.

With that said, I feel much better. I hope everyone has a fantastic Easter! I am luckily to have a family that is watching their waistline as well. My family has planned a healthy Easter meal and we all plan on going for a walk together after dinner before we break out the board games. I am so proud of my family, especially my grandparents, for inspiring one another.

Since the Very Beginning

Since I started my weight loss journey and have been attending meetings, one of my long-term goals was to eventually become a Weight Watcher Leader. My leaders, I have two because I alternate between the morning/evening meeting depending on if we have school that day or not, are so enthusiastic about there leadership role and I never had a doubt in my mind that I wanted to follow in their footsteps. I was a born leader, rarely ever a follower. It only makes sense that I would want to lead people to their weight loss goals. 

On Wednesday I had an interview with Weight Watchers, for whatever position they had open for me, getting my foot in the door was most important to me. Friday I received a call and was offered a Leadership position. I am so overjoyed to begin the next chapter of my weight loss journey. Although I still have 13 lbs to lose, because I am in my healthy weight range I am able to take on this Leadership role. There is quite a bit of training that is involved, including mentoring with a current Leader and an two day overnight training conference.

I have heard that maintaining your weight loss is the most difficult part. Harder than even losing the weight. A lot of member, after achieving Lifetime status, stop coming to meetings and stop tracking their food. At that point, I feel you have turned Weight Watchers into a diet and not a lifestyle. I was scared I may eventually take that path, once I am Lifetime, having the "know-it-all" attitude. This Leadership role I've been given will assure that I will maintain my weight and stay on track with this new lifestyle. That to me, is priceless.

I must say, I haven't had a paying job since December 2008, by our own choice. I am lucky enough to have a husband that supports me finishing school and getting my degree so I may choose a career that I want and won't have to settle for. Without him, I would still be working full time while attending junior college part time, not to mention, probably over 200 lbs by now. I owe him everything. His support through out marriage thus far has been second to none. I'm not looking at my Weight Watchers Leadership role as a job, at all. I've wanted to do this for a long time and I feel I have taken on this role with many people in my life, outside of the meeting room. However, being employed again feels amazing and that I can contribute more towards our financial life makes me feel fantastic. I know that the best way I can repay my husband for the break he has given me is to be the best Leader I can be, help many people become successful and maintain my own goals and aspirations as not only a Weight Watcher Leader, but also as a member.

Stressed = Desserts

I always get a laugh when I see that the word "stressed" is "desserts" backwards. It makes me think that someone, somewhere, in the land of creating words and definitions has a sick, sick sense of humor.

I'm not a dessert person, really. I have mentioned before that my weakness is more of the salty snacks, rather than the sweet. At this point, I have a good hold on my salt cravings and rarely give in. Recently, I have been really stressed out. The kind of stressed out that makes my face look like that of my high school students, which only stresses me out more. I typically handle stress pretty well, most the time I don't even realize I'm stressed when others see I am. I believe my attention to detail and my time management abilities reduce a lot of stress I would otherwise experience.
All week I have had a craving for cake. It is really strange and I almost laugh at the craving because I know although I crave it, that does not mean I'll eat it. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't really even like cake. Frosting hurts my teeth in a wicked way. It is just a weird craving. Yesterday at work (student teaching), we celebrated a birthday for a very important person at the school. There was a potluck brunch, no big deal - but then I saw that beautiful cake! Funny thing was, as soon as I saw the cake in all its' frosting glory - I lost my craving. In no way am I saying that I'm superior in that I have the ability for cake to look disgusting after craving it for a week, it was just a strange feeling. And it is not to say I don't give into other cravings. After being sick and barely eating for four days (lost 3.2 lbs), I craved nothing more than a gyro and fries once my appetite returned. And you can bet I ate that gyro and fries. I worked really hard that week to maintain the 3.2 lbs loss from being ill and luckily I had.

Back to handling stress....

On one hand, I am glad that when I am stressed, I'm not an eater. On the other hand, I become a very quiet, secluded person, which is just as bad. I don't want to do anything, have any conversation with anyone and just be under my covers alone. Last night, Kristian suggested that I go to my favorite pub, have a few drinks and sing some songs since it was karaoke night. I was still in my "mood" and could not make a decision which I also don't like. Indecisiveness is just not me. I made the decision to get out for a few hours and I think it's just what I needed. I had not been out in quite a while and karaoke always makes me happy, I received a ton of compliments from some of the regulars I had not seen in a while, and I even danced in some activity points. One friend told me to "go eat a pork chop or something." While I know I'm not at goal yet and I'm at the very top of my healthy weight guideline, I never imagined I would be in a conversation where someone is telling me it looks like I need a little food in my belly. It's a good feeling.

With all that being said, I am back to my regular, happy, chipper self today. I begin some personal training today to tone my newly defined abs and arms to be ready for swimsuit season. I think that is just what I need to shed these last 10 lbs or so and hit goal. Oh, I also have a phone interview with Weight Watchers in two weeks, to hopefully become a leader of my own meetings. I am so excited to being that new journey.

Until then, I'll leave you with this.

"A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety."

Finding the Silver Lining

By now I'm sure you know I did not get the commercial. I was disappointed and sad by the phone call from New York saying I was not chosen this time around, but the experience was one that not many get to do. Like I said before I knew my fate, I have worked extremely hard the past year on my weight loss journey and to some, 50-60 pounds to lose is not much to recognize, but until you have done it, it is so much harder than you think. 

I am one to always find the silver lining. I always think there are reasons why something happens or does not happen. During the time I was to be in California, Japan was hit by a massive earthquake, putting California until Tsunami warnings. Fortunately, California was spared damages, unlike Japan, but I found this to possibly be a reason why it was not my time to be in California. 

I also have not written lately because I have been uber sick for the past week with an upper respiratory infection. I could barely talk without coughing and the coughing began to hurt my body so bad I was physically exhausted, even after taking multiple naps throughout the day. I also had no appetite. 

Silver lining...?

I went to my weigh-in Monday night, just to weigh-in and leave and I had lost 3.2lbs. That's about unheard of at this stage in the game and so close to my goal. Now to keep that off for the next weigh-in. I know I may gain a little of it back, that happens when you go from eating next to nothing to your regular daily points again, but certainly not all 3.2 lbs of it. 

So this put me at 132.4 lbs. That's only .4 lbs until medically I'm not considered overweight anymore. 

It's time I start thinking harder about my goal weight and what I can maintain. 116 lbs might be a bit too thin, that was my original goal. I also need to make sure it is something I can maintain for the rest of my life. For anyone who thinks Weight Watchers ends when you hit your goal weight, you are mistaken. Those are the people who put it all back on. This is a lifelong journey and I intend to see it through until the last day.

Commercial Update

As many of you know, I applied about a month ago to be looked upon for the next Weight Watchers commercial. Everything has happened so quickly since sending in my application, when a week later the casting company called me for an interview later that week!

I had my first interview last Thursday. It was a web conference because the casting company is in New York City. When I got to my interview and was connected via web cams to the casting director, I was more than excited to introduce myself to her. There were basic questions; what's your name? Tell me a little bit about you. I told her how I am a special education teacher, I love to sing karaoke, I've lost 53 (well, now 54) pounds on Weight Watchers, etc. Then she went in to asking me questions specific to Weight Watchers. How do PlusPoints fit into your daily schedule? (How doesn't it?) What is your favorite part of the new PlusPoints system? Do you utilize eTools?

It was all cookie cutter kinds of questions that I was more than able to reply to. After all, I've never believed in a program so much and there isn't anyone this program is not for! Whether it 100lbs or 10lbs you want to lose, Weight Watchers is the way to go, so it made it easy to talk so positively about the program. At the end of the interview she asked me if there was anything else I'd like to add for the director/producer to see. Surprisingly, I got a bit emotional. I explained that I have worked extremely hard in the past year and I've truly made this a lifestyle and so many thing have changed for the better in the past year, a lot because of Weight Watchers. I explained how I gained my confidence back and how I believe I truly do deserve this opportunity. If you know me, I'm not much of a crier, but the water works made an appearance. Honestly, thinking about it I think it's silly how I was so emotional, but really, it IS an emotional journey and unless you've made the changes and have the sense of control over your own life, it's hard to understand.

Luckily, they must have loved my emotion because Friday (day after interview), I was called in for a second interview the follow Monday.

As luck would have it, I was sicker than a dog on Monday, but as they say, "the show must go on."

It was a much shorter interview. She asked for a recap of who I am, what I like to do and my weight loss journey in a nutshell. Then asked me to add anything else I've thought of since my first interview. I added that I think I would be marketing to a different demographic. Typically when I think of Weight Watchers, I think of older people. Maybe women with multiple kids, little time for the gym or even older than that. I've opened up the option of Weight Watchers to many of my friends even younger than I, and I think it's a great chance for us younger ones to get a good control on our weight before it becomes more difficult.

So, two interviews down. Next step is filming. I will find out tomorrow if I am chosen to be flown to Los Angeles (March 8-14th). I could technically still end up on the editing room floor at the end of filming, but quite frankly, getting this opportunity would be enough. I would still get paid for every day I am there ($550/day) but if I do get on air then it's much more, or so they tell me.

Regardless of what happens, I've thought about both interviews and what I've said and there is nothing I would have said differently, added, or not said at all. I can honestly say I am very happy with how I presented myself and I can only pray that they are too. If I get the call tomorrow that I did not make it through to the filming, I will be no doubt disappointed, but I will remain proud of the accomplishments I've made. I have obviously done enough right to be recognized so strongly. I've gained a lot of supported and have inspired others. That is reward enough.

That being said, I do hope I get a call tomorrow telling me to pack my bags. :-)

Hard Work Pays Off

About two weeks ago my Weight Watcher leader, Jennifer, posted on Facebook a link to fill out an application to be in the next Weight Watchers commercial. Naturally, if you know me, I filled it out right away. I've always loved being in front of the camera, ever since I was little.

I didn't think much of it. Really, I just filled it out, told my story of my successes and setbacks and when they received my online application they emailed asking for my documentation (weigh-ins). Right away I went to the library and made copies and set it right over.

This morning, as I was waiting in the Starbucks drive-thru (Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte, please!), my cell phone rang. I answered, although typically wouldn't when it's clearly an out-of-state number, and the nice lady on the other end stated she was from Weight Watchers. In my head I thought, "NO WAY!"

So, here is the deal:

This week, Weight Watchers will set up a time and place for me to go do a preliminary web conference/interview. If I "pass" this preliminary, I go on to a second interview with the Producer I believe, next week. Assuming I "pass" that interview, Weight Watchers will fly me out to L.A. March 6th-12th for filming. There is still a chance then, that I may not end up on TV but on the editing room floor. However, I will still be paid about $550 per day while I'm there filming. According to the nice lady on the phone, IF I do get aired, that's where the "boo-coo bucks" come in.

Honestly, just the experience of doing this is enough. I have worked so hard in the past year and I know I deserve this. Please keep me in your prayers and your thoughts. I hate to be so excited for this and it not go through to the end, however, I do keep in mind that I have obviously done something right to have them look so closely at me for their commercial.

It's taken a long time to get here. But it was definitely worth the hard work and time I've put in.

First Time For Everything

For the first time since being a Weight Watcher, I used just about all of my extra weekly points. I have never done this before. If you are not a WW, I will explain...see, you get a Daily PlusPoint Value, mine is 29. And then you get 49 Extra Weekly PlusPoints so that you don't feel like you are depriving yourself. A lot of people use these Extra WPP to enjoy a dinner out with friends or a few glasses of wine or what have you. I rarely ever touch my Extra WPP and if I do it is only just a few.

This week, I've pretty much used them up. There was Valentine's Day where we had a heart-shaped pizza with a bottle of red wine. I had lunch with my Aunt and dinner with my Grandparents this week, although I do believe I did really well one both occasions. Last night, we went on a date to a new restaurant in town and for only the second time on WW, I ate a burger. I had them keep the mayo off and it had the regular good stuff like lettuce and tomato plus avocado but it also had cheese on it. Not to mention I haven't eaten a regular hamburger bun in months.

A few weeks ago at my WW meeting we talked about using your WPP and how they make you feel if you use them. I raised my hand when my leader asked if you felt like you were cheating. I always feel like I'm cheating when I'm using them because I know I don't need them to be satisfied. I get everything I want/need within my 29 DPP. I wanted to try using them though, so my burger last night was half a conscious decision and half impulse. I will say it made my stomach hurt after I ate it. I don't know if it is because I haven't eaten much red meat lately or because it's a greasy burger.

I guess I will see on the scale tomorrow how using my Extra WPP effects me. I really don't think they are for me, but I wanted to give them a fair chance. I do, however, feel like I've cheated on my regular plan and I have no doubt that tomorrow will show a gain. Because I decided to try this, I'm okay with a gain.

On a lighter note - I bought new pants today. Size 5 and they are slightly loose. I can't remember the last time I was in a size 5 and they were loose. It's an amazing feeling. Since I'm almost done with losing my weight, I'm hoping I'll be in a 3 or 4 in the end. I also had my chest resized. I've lost two cup sizes since starting, going from a DD to a C cup. Definitely more manageable now and I can wear tank tops without pouring out of them or showing much cleavage. It's fantastic! I'm just about ready for bathing suit shopping which is something I do every year but I'm especially excited for this year.

If you have tomorrow off of work for Presidents' Day (I DO!) enjoy your time off. I plan on getting in some activity points, that's for sure!