It is no doubt I have lost it these past five months. I believe my last post was even about how I was getting back on track, however, I hadn't. I am not going to apologize that I am not one of those people who can come across clothing I wore a year ago and say they still fit. I am not going to apologize that I really don't like working out or always eating healthy. I will apologize, however, that I have not been the best motivator or “inspiration” to those people who had looked so closely to me for weight loss support and followed my journey the past three years.
School is back in which means routine is back too. I am a person that heavily relies on routine. When routine wavers, so do I. I suppose that is something I need to work on.
Today I joined a Biggest Loser contest at school that runs for 12 weeks. There are 35 of us involved in this contest and it's a really decent prize at the end of the 12 weeks. Good motivation, besides fitting back into my smaller jeans. I'm doing a lot of the same when I was doing Weight Watchers; packing my lunch for the week, heavy on veggie and protein, beginning a workout regime, every day after school, watching alcohol intake, etc. One major difference I've decided to do this time around is not seeing my actual weight.
How weird, right?
I do not want to know what my actual weight is. I want to focus on how I feel. When I was an active Weight Watcher member, I became very obsessive over the number on the scale. When I was doing all the right things, like exercising well and eating perfectly and wouldn’t see a difference in number I did not care that my pants fit better or that I could run farther or faster than the week before. It was all about the number. For me, that was not good. When I finally hit my goal weight at 125lbs, I was happy to hit the number but I was way too thin and did not look attractive to myself. I should not wear a size 0 like I did at 125lbs. I had no hips, a small chest, was just not “womanly.” I’m prideful of my curves and quite honestly, so is my husband. So, this time around I am not looking at the number. My co-worker will weigh me in each week and keep track for me. I’d like to know what I lost in pounds each week but don’t want to focus on hitting a certain weight. I know how my pants should fit and once I’m back into my 4/5’s I don’t care what the number is on the scale only that my pants fit well again.
This is a new approach for me, so I’m anxious to see how it goes. It will be nice having my co-workers doing this with me and some looking at me for support or advice because I have done this before and have still managed to keep a lot of the weight off.
It is time to take control of my body again.
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