It's a Real Mind Game

Gosh, it's been about two weeks since my last post. I have been trying to come up with topics to write about, but my mind has been blank. Perhaps it is because I am struggling with a plateau currently so I don't feel like I would have anything "wise" to contribute to this blog and didn't want to sound like a downer.

I thought this was entertaining....I wonder where I'd land.

I've always known that losing weight was more of a mind game than anything, but that has really come to life for me in the past few months as I've bounced between 129 lbs and 131 lbs for so long now. I am scale obsessed. Along with a scale obsession comes number obsession. Honestly, I don't care how I look or feel, if I see I'm in the 130's I freak out. I do not want to be more than 10 lbs from my goal. Ironically, however, the closer I get to my goal, the cockier I become with food and drinks. Thinking to myself, "I'm in the 120's now so I can have that extra drink" or "I've been doing this for so long that one day of tracking won't mess me up." But it does. I am also now strict with working out daily and if I don't get some form of exercise in, I feel soft and will be disappointed. I suppose this is all because I just want to hit my goal so badly, and I suspect it will subside once I hit my goal. I'd much rather bounce between 118 lbs and 125 lbs than 129 lbs and 131 lbs.

Last Saturday morning, before my Graduation party, I weighed myself. I nearly passed out when I saw 126.1 lbs. That was 4.9lbs less than I weighed in at on that Monday! No way! 5 lbs in one week is amazing and just what I needed. As the weekend carried on, I drank a bit at my Graduation party, didn't eat much but had about 5 s'mores that evening. I was really bummed about the weather and the next day I went to a friends' house for a Pampered Chef party and emotionally ate and drank all day because it was a perfect day and I felt I had to "make up" for the crappy weather the day before. At my weigh in on Monday, the number was exactly the same as it was the week prior. Here is where the mind games come it. If I hadn't weighed myself on Saturday I would have been thrilled that I maintained over the busy social weekend. But, instead of being happy I didn't gain I was depressed because I could have been down 5 lbs if I would have had a normal weekend sans parties. So I've been struggling with that thought all week. This week, I made my darling husband (DH as we say in WW) hide my scale. As long as I weigh in the same or less than last week I'll be okay because I can't compare it to another number that I saw this week. Weighing myself daily is not good for me. Once I hit goal, I think it will be okay but for now I'm so obsessed with the number and hitting goal that weighing daily isn't a great thing.

Keeping it a mind game, in conversation this week with a friend, they mentioned that someone else had made a comment about how much I talk about Weight Watchers or food or what-have-you. In my defense, the friend commented that you can truly see that I talk about it because it is a big part of my life. And she's right. I have struggled with talking about my journey. I want to talk about it because I have accomplished a lot but on the same hand, I don't want to bore people or make people feel I'm conceited or whatever. After hearing her defense, I feel she was totally right. In the same way people talk about their kids or pets or whatever it is that is a huge part of their life, that's how my journey is to me. It's my baby. We've had our ups and we've had our downs. There is a lot to talk about and advice to give and take and emotions to sort out. The same as it is with any other kind of a relationship. It just happens to be one of the biggest parts of my life. So don't ever let anyone make you feel uncomfortable when you talk about some so important to you.

It's been a rough week. I'm struggling with finding a job, I've only had one interview and I never heard back. I'm struggling with hitting goal. Yesterday at the dinner table I just started crying for no reason. No trigger. Nothing. Just started to cry. Every once in a while I just need a good cry and then I'm fine.

I don't know what to expect at my weigh-in on Monday. I'm hoping I stay the same. It's been a week of pizza two nights in a row and drinks with friends two nights in a row. And the weekend hasn't even approached yet.

Monday will be a fresh start. To a great week.

Tortoise Vs. Hare

Which character have you emulated during your weight loss journey? I am far more like the tortoise.

I was reviewing my weight loss numbers throughout the 15 months I've been doing Weight Watchers. Unlike a lot of others, I find it much more difficult to shed the extra weight in the summertime. Winter for me, is easy to lose weight. My table chart of weigh-ins reflect this pattern. This intimidates me a bit for the summer is now steadily approaching.

I thought I would share my rate of weight loss so that if anyone reading is having a tough time with their rate, please know, you aren't alone. So let's just review...

I joined Feb 8, 2010 at 188lbs

Feb 8 - Feb 22: -5.6 lbs (2 weeks)
Feb 22 - Mar 15: -12.6 lbs (hit 5% week before Mar 15) (3 weeks for another 5lbs)
Mar 15 - Mar 29: -15 lbs ( 2 weeks for 5lbs)
Mar 29 - Apr 19: -20.4 lbs (3 weeks for 5 more lbs)
Apr 19 - May 31: -27 lbs (6 weeks for 5 more lbs)
May 31 - June 21: - 30.6lbs (3 weeks, 5lbs)
This is where it gets scary...
June 21 - Oct 4: - 37.4lbs (15 weeks for 5lbs!!!! SUMMER!!)
Oct 4 - Oct 25: -41.2lbs (3 weeks for 5 lbs. Back to normal)
Oct 25 - Dec 6: -45.2lbs (6 weeks = 5 lbs. Holiday time)
Dec 6 - Jan 17: -50.8 (6 weeks = 5lbs. Over Christmas AND my birthday...not too bad)
Jan 17 - Mar 14: -55.6lbs (8 weeks = 5lbs)
Mar 14 - Today: - 58.6 lbs. (11 weeks and counting...)

See this pattern?? Eeeek! Of course, the more you have to lose the faster you lose it. "The last 10 lbs are the hardest," yadda yadda.

After thinking about it, I'm really okay with the pace at which I've been losing. I do know some who lost 50+ lbs in under a year but I have to admit I did not start seriously working out until about 3 weeks ago. That could have an effect on my rate of loss. I have 8.6 lbs more to lose and I'd really like to see that before summers' end. It's possible. It's definitely possible.

I guess my point is...

It doesn't matter which character you decide to portray, as long as you finish the race...right? I did not get into this journey expecting to see physical changes in the first few weeks...months even. I did not set a deadline for myself because in the case I didn't meet that deadline, I did not want to give up entirely. I'm taking this as a marathon, not a sprint. And the best part is...I think I see the finish line, there in the close distance.

Paying It Forward

This past weekend was the annual Weight Watchers 5K Walk-It Challenge. It motivates members to get up and walk 3.1 miles, with not only the feeling of achievement, but a charm for their key chain as a reward. Members can choose to sign-up for a 5K in the area or simply walk with a group of friends or even with their spouse. My Weight Watcher area created their own 5K Walk-It Challenge through a forest preserve in a nearby town. This year, we had about 500 Weight Watcher members and family come out to walk. It was amazing and very emotional to see the different levels of movers, e.g. walkers, joggers and runners. This year, I did it alone. Last year my husband and two dogs came to support but I have advanced so much from last year that since this race was not chip timed like typical 5Ks are, I was not worried about beating a personal record. Instead, I just went with my iPod and headphones and was looking forward to a leisurely jog through on the path. As I was walking to the path, I was walking behind a woman who was about to start the 5K (it was a come as you please type of 5K, not timed or started like typical ones) and I mentioned to her how much nicer the weather was this year than last. We began chatting and I learned that she came from about 30 miles west for this 5K because she works out here and this is where here meeting is, but she didn't know many people because she isn't from the area. I learned she just started Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago and that she was slightly intimidated by the 5K because she had not walked this far. I chose to walk the 5K with her and keep her motivated. We got to know each other really well and she was so very thankful for my support, even though we didn't really know each other and had just met. I'm happy to say she finished the 5K and I hope will be looking for another. 

This is a perfect example of why I love this community I am in as a Weight Watcher member. We all come from such different walks of life, yet have something so personal in common, struggles with weight. Recently, I've become much more emotional about this journey. Maybe it's because I'm so close to my goal weight, I'm not sure. After completing the 5K and telling my husband what I had done for this woman, something as simple as walking by her side, got me choked up. I think back 15 months ago, when I was the one struggling and needed  the support more than ever. Now it's my turn to pay it forward and help those who were in the same place I once was. I am looking more forward than ever to finish my leader training so that I can have a closer connection with more people in this journey. And it makes me more grateful for those who have helped and supported me through mine.

Light Humor

Yes. Make sure you eat ALL your PointsPlus!  

This just cracked me up!

This is me currently. So close to that size 2. Like a steak in front of a dog. 

Amen, Dr. Phil. Amen.

This is really what it all comes down to, isn't it? You CAN do it. I just heard a quote at a recent WW meeting. "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."

Sorry for the nudity...but I know for a FACT that this is how we all wish we could weigh-in!! 

A Few Good Recipes

Since school is now over and I have more time on my hands than ever, I have been back into the routine of planning out and shopping for our weekly menu. I find this is a great way to avoid any last minute feelings of "I don't want to cook tonight, let's order a pizza instead." Knowing that I have all the necessary ingredients and I take out the protein the night before to defrost really helps me stay on track. Plus, it's always fun to try new recipes! 


I thought that I would share a few of this weeks specials:


I made these Saturday night. We had Venison Tacos and I thought this sounded perfect for our "Mexican" theme. These cupcakes are very moist and easier eaten with a fork. My little sister AND husband absolutely loved these. This made 18 cupcakes. This came from another blog I follow http://www.skinnytaste.com/.

Pina Colado Cupcakes – 3PP unfrosted, 4PP frosted

1 box yellow cake mix, I used sugar free

20 oz can crushed pineapples not drained

 Mix well with electric mixer.

 Bake at cake box directions

Frosting:

 1 can 20 oz crushed pineapples drained well.

8 oz 1/3 fat free cream cheese

1 cup coconut

1/4 cup sugar

mix well

frost cupcakes and refrigerate. 


Monday evening I made this next recipe. I received it from one of the members in my Weight Watcher meeting. It was super easy and really delicious. Quick to throw together, so I recommend for someone with children. There is nothing in this that kids wouldn't eat. I also find that it re-heats well. With only two of us in the house, it's important for me to find recipes that would be good leftover since we are both picky when it comes to re-heating. 

Chicken Bruchetta Bake

Prep time: 10 mins

Total time: 40 mins

6 servings, 1 cup each- 7 PP

-  1 can (14.5 oz) diced petite tomatoes

-  1 pkg. (6 oz) Stove Top Stuffing mix for chicken

-  1/2 cup water

-  3 garlic cloves, minced

-  1 1/2 lbs boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into bite sized pieces

-  1 tsp. dried basil leaves

-  1 cup part skim low moisture shredded mozzarella cheese

1.  Heat oven to 400 degrees.

2.  Mix tomatoes, stuffing mix, water and garlic just until stuffing mix is moistened.

3.  Layer chicken, basil and cheese in a 9x13 inch baking dish.

4.  Top with stuffing.  Bake 30 minutes or until chicken is done. 

Last night I made these final two recipes. I wasn't entirely crazy about the Italian Skillet Chicken. It wasn't bad tasting and you get a lot for the PP value, it just was not a favorite of mine. I would make it again, just not as often as others. This would be good with a side of whole wheat penne, because of the veggies and crushed tomatoes it would mix well. I made the risotto listed below instead.

Italian Skillet Chicken

PointsPlus™ Value:    4

Servings:  4

Preparation Time:  10 min

Cooking Time:  25 min

Ingredients

2 tsp olive oil   

2 medium onion(s), chopped   

1 medium carrot(s), chopped   

1 stalk(s) (medium) celery, sliced   

3/4 pound(s) uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, trimmed of all visible fat

and cut into strips   

14 1/2 oz canned crushed tomatoes   

1 Tbsp basil, fresh, chopped or 1 teaspoon dried   

1/2 tsp table salt   

1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground   

Instructions

§        Heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, carrot, and celery; cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 10 minutes. Add the chicken and cook, stirring occasionally, until opaque, about 5 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, basil, salt, and pepper. Reduce the heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, until the flavors are blended and the chicken is cooked through, about 10 minutes. Yields about 1 1/2 cups per serving.

Another recipe from a WW member, I was nervous to make this. I had never made risotto before (unless it was a "just add water") and I absolutely love it. So I thought I would give it a try. It turned out delicious. Honestly tasted like risotto made with cream but it is much more healthy. You really get a lot for the PP value of 5. It is slightly time consuming as you need to constantly be stirring and adding the broth, but it's definitely delicious. 

Asparagus Risotto

5 pp per serving; 15 min prep; 34 min cook; serves 6

§  1/2 tsp salt for cooking water

§  1 lb asparagus trimmed and cut into bite size pcs

§  2 sprays cooking spray

§  1 Tbsp unsalted butter

§  3 small shallots, minced

§  1 cup uncooked arborio rice

§  1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice

§  4 cups canned chicken broth

§  1/3 cup grated parm. cheese

§  1/8 tsp table salt or to taste

§  1/8 tsp black pepper or to taste

Bring large pot of salted water to a boil.  Fill large bowl with ice water.  Add asparagus to pot and blanch for 2 mins.  Immediately remove asparagus from pot and place them into ice water to stop them from cooking and help retain color; set aside.

Coat medium pot with cooking spray and set over medium heat.  Melt butter.  Add shallots; cook, stirring frequently until transulucent, about 5-7 mins.  Add rice and toss to coat; cook for 2 mins.  Add lemon juice, cook, until all lemon juice has been absorbed, stirring continuously so rice does not stick to sides of pot, about 1 min.

Meanwhile bring broth to simmer and keep warm.

Add 1/2 cup of hot broth to pot at a time, stir until absorbed.  Repeat with remaining broth making sure each addition of broth is absorbed before adding more.  This process takes about 20 mins.

When rice turns creamy and just done (should be slighly chewy and not mushy), remove pot from heat, and cheese and stir well.  Stir in asparagus, season with salt and pepper.  Yields 1 scant cup per serving. 

NOTE:  you can swap white wine for lemon juice and/or spinach for asparagus (could affect PP value).

Coming up for the rest of the week are Venison Gyros with a homemade Tatziki sauce paired with a Chickpea and Feta Salad and Chicken Asian Wraps paired with an Edamame Salad. I'll post those later in the week after I've made them. Please let me know if you try any of these recipes and how your family liked them! 

A Trip Down Memory Lane.

Recently, I've been asked for before and after pictures. On my Facebook I have a Weight Loss Progression album, but I thought this would be fun to add some photos that may not be in there and give a little commentary as well. Hope you enjoy!

Let's start in the beginning. My wedding. September 14, 2008. Heaviest? Oh, no. This is where it begins right? Don't most woman "let themselves go" after they get married? If I'd guess, I'd say I was around 170 lbs here. 

February 2009 - At The Back Door Pub. My local karaoke bar. Every weekend I would get up there and sing for a crowd...looking like that. So let's look above at September 2008 to this photo, February 2009. Can you tell I moved out on my own for the first time? I had to learn how to cook and cook for only two people. Growing up Italian, two people can eat enough food for five people. Case in point. This looks like it was my heaviest, could have been about 200 lbs here. Size 14.

Summer 2009. Up in Wisconsin for Jessica's Graduation party. I had been working out a bit, started running earlier that summer. Thinking I was looking good here, but my top explains it all. This was the general theme of my closet - baggy shirts. All my shirts were the loose fitting kind that "hid" any excess baggage. That's my Uncle Larry in the background. He's pretty awesome.

Here is that same top again, if you can't tell. Baggy tube top. Thinking I'm cute in a tube top...when underneath is lurking....eh, forget it. Check out that burger! Holy Moly! This is the Kimbo Burger at Comet in Milwaukee. Up north again, for a wedding this time, Kristian and I couldn't leave the state without stopping at this beloved restaurant featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Piece of advice: If it's feature on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives OR Man Vs. Food...don't eat it. It's not the least bit healthy. No Joke: This burger contains two deep fried grilled cheese sandwiches as "buns", a quarter-pound beef burger, two giant onion rings, bacon and of course the veggie toppings (tomato, pickle, lettuce, BFD) with a side of fries. Oh and we HAD to get the mashed potatoes with the gravy made with bacon fat. Again, No Joke.

October 2009. This picture is also feature on my first posting.  I'm standing here with my buddy, Lenore. Part of Best Buddies at school, I spend a lot of time with Lenore and this happens to be at our Halloween party. If you can't tell what my costume is, I'm "Smartie Pants." Those are little rolls of Smarties pinned to my jeans. The shirt I'm wearing I still have in my closet and it now fits great. It also goes to about the middle of my thighs. I would guess I'm back up to the 200 lb marker. Although I never had an official weight. And I'm O.K. with that.

Oh my wonderful husband. Met me when I was 117 lbs as a junior in high school and loved me all through this. This is Christmas 2009 with my family. The sweater I'm wearing was my favorite. It was huge and super comfy. It made me feel thinner because it was so big on me. There is another piece of evidence that contributed to my weight gain, other than food. Can you see it? At the bottom center of the photo? Wine. Really, alcohol in general. I love relaxing with a beer or glass of wine. Er, I guess more than A beer or glass of wine but more like 5-6 beers and a bottle of wine. I could hold my liquor pretty well. Not anymore. 

Christmas 2009, again. At church after I sang for Christmas mass. This picture was the one that really made me realize I had to lose some weight. I had been pretty confident until now. So, two months later, weighing in at a whopping 188lbs and size 14 jeans, I joined Weight Watchers with full intent of finishing it through until the end with the goal of becoming a leader to inspire others. 

Grandma's birthday 2010 - March - Before dinner with my family. I've lost about 15 lbs or so at this point and I was so excited to see my family. I was even more excited to wear that top (which, might I add, was still too small for me to be wearing). Roughly 175 lbs. 

From March to May - Leslie's bachlorette party. I was about 165 lbs here and lost 23 lbs. I was excited to get out into the city  that night but also apprehensive because we had spent the day at the Cubs game then headed to a bar in Wrigleyville. I knew that I would be eating and drinking like I typically would not do anymore. I remember Leslie asking/telling me to forget about my "diet" for today. It's not that easy when it's not a "diet" that I'm on, but I managed through and probably gained a little at my next weigh-in but once in a while it's O.K. to enjoy the moment more than you otherwise would. 

June 2010 - The wedding! I was so upset because my dress was  pretty large. You can actually see the speck of my bra in this picture and it was worse when I stood straight. I had to cut my bra to help it look a little better because the top was getting so large on me. From when I ordered the dress to the date of the wedding I had lost 29 pounds. 6 more lbs since the bachlorette party. This was a great night. I remember the photographer calling me the "sassy one." That's about right.

Finally some warm weather in the summer of 2010 - I had lost 33 lbs at this point. I was ready to throw on some cute summer dresses! Now if I only had a tan....
155 lbs

Go back and look at the first picture at our wedding. This was just after our two year anniversary.  About 150 lbs here, I learned to start buying tops with little belts around the waist. I love showing that I have a waist now! That is one of the best tricks I've learned from What Not To Wear! Put a belt around your waist to show off the tiniest part of your body!

Now go back to Christmas 2009...this was Christmas 2010. No big, bulky sweater for this girl. Being the silly one I am, I was posing like a goof. But look, there is belly but no "muffin top." That's a success in my book! Those jeans I'm wearing, which I just gave away this weekend actually, are a size 10. This was the weekend I realized old habits die hard. For this weekend, we spent Thursday-Sunday in Wisconsin, eating and drinking galore. I paid little attention to all the good habits I had learned from starting Weight Watchers. At my next weigh-in I gained 3.2 lbs. That was heart-wrenching. In this photo: 140 lbs.

Jumping all the way to March of this year - I had lost 55 lbs. Weighing about 132, I was wearing my first Little Black Dress and it is a size 4. We were headed downtown for a company dinner and I was so excited to shop for a new dress and shoes to show off these curves. I love this dress. 

Finally, to yesterday. This is my before putting on my cap and gown for Graduation. Down a total of 59.4 lbs and weighing in at 128.6. That means only 8.6 lbs left to lose. That could still take a couple of months. Obviously, the less to lose the longer to lose it. But I will hit 120 lbs, no doubt. 68 pounds is a lot of weight to lose. Some have lost a lot more than I and to them I look for inspiration. Even losing just 20 lbs is a struggle. But looking back at all these photos and remembering the way I felt at each event, makes all the hard work worth every Oreo cookie I've put back. 

Back to Basics

As I talked about in my last post, I was experiencing my first plateau in about 14 months. What a bummer! My remedy for such a plateau...back to basics. And it absolutely worked.

Last week at my Monday weigh-in, I was down 3.6 lbs. At 132 lbs, that is almost unheard of. It all came down to "jump starting" my body again. I never was one to work out regularly. I had been giving a very generous gift of 10 workouts with a personal trainer and I haven't learned how to balance working out vigorously with eating more. I know I need to eat more, the more I work out. So that may have been one reason I wasn't losing. Also, as I mentioned in the prior post, I began getting cocky.

So, my goal for that week was to go back to everything I was taught in the beginning. To act like it was my first week as a Weight Watcher member. That meant for me, tracking honestly, eating only my daily 29 plus point values and working out less (sounds crazy).

That "Back to Basic" method may not work for everyone, but if you are at a struggle with your loss right now, I challenge you to go back to whatever your "Basic" was. Look back at your old trackers, what did you do differently when you were losing a constant weight? Have you slacked on your working out and need to work out more? Are you eating less or eating more?

We all are going to struggle at some point and it is really frustrating, no doubt. But the most important thing is to assess why it is happening and change it.